Monday, June 6, 2011

Guy Values, Girl Values, Asian Yuppie Values...

A few weekends back I had another run in with a local resident -- an angry 300 lb Black Man who likes to call me a Fucking Gook every time I passed him in the street. The first time was in evening when I went to Walgreens to load up on diapers. The second time was when I was walking home on a Sunday morning from a swimming class. Same deal, I'm focused on something else, then I hear, "FUCKING GOOK!" I turn around and I see the guy's back towards me walking away -- all 300 Lbs of him listening to something in black earbuds.

Whenever these things have happened, I've run into the usual thing -- anger and a thought maybe I should wack this guy. Then there is the reality that he's 300 lbs, and probably at least a little crazy. Not someone you get into fights with.

When I've discussed this with other Guys I've noticed that the Guys are less than sympathetic. The attitude I get is that I should have either done something, or kept my mouth shut about the whole thing. The fact I didn't challenge him means I'm a wimp --- the issue of him being a 300 lb Black Man with a lot more pent up anger being a non-issue.

When I discuss this with my wife and the Girls, I get the attitude I should just ignore all this. The line there is that he's a hater, a junky, and an idiot. And I should be "better" than this.

Ironically -- the local Krav Maga school I work out at it once posted on their website to NEVER get into a fight on the street due to a stupid provocation like this. Their shtick, is that the guy doing the provoking has got something up their sleeve, so don't fall for it.

Then there are the value systems I was raised with --- which I hate, but I can't escape. The few times as a child I got into fights, and got into trouble for them, my family members (my parents, older brother & sister) would come down on me with a shtick that was;

- You lost your fight -- so you are an idiot for fighting;
- Fighting is a low class thing -- and we are NOT low class people;

The lesson from family members in this -- irrespective of the context or whether or not I was justified -- unless I know I can win, I should not be fighting anyone.

So, unless I had kicked the shit out of that Angry 300 Lb Black Man (a big if), my wife and family members would view me as an idiot. my friends who are female -- they'd probably think the same thing as my wife and family members. And the dudes --- even as they dismiss me for being a Wimp for not sticking up for myself, I'd still get shit for starting a fight with someone a lot bigger & tougher then me.

Which leaves me with nothing but this blog, where I vent about things I can't change.

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